I just realize how terribly much I miss my best friend. :/ I dunno know I’m going to go through the next 3 months without getting to hang out with him all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I am very very happy that he’s getting more intense and more one-on-one help for his problems. I hope that once he gets out of treatment this time around, he will be able to stay on the right path and away from meth.

Yet I miss him so much. I love him to death; it’s been hard lately. His parents do not like me AT ALL, so it’s not like I can go to them to find out about how he’s doing. They moved him to a center in another town, and I had no clue until I went to visit him today at Acadia, only to find out that he wasn’t there!

/Rant over

God, I am so tired. I went to visit my friend today in Acadia. He’s detoxing really badly. His parents where there, the dicks. They hate me, and it drives me up the wall. I’ve never done anything to them, yet they chose to act like I’m the reason their son fell hard into the drug scene. Newsflash: I’ve only ever been there to help my best friend do well with his life. I’m sorry you don’t like me anymore, and hate that he’s still keeps me close in his life.

Beyond that though, I did get to talk to him for 10 minutes or so. He seems to finally realize that he needs to get his life on the straight path permanently. He told me aboutI his plans for once he’s released. I truly hope he follows through with it, and I promised him I would be there with him through everything.

This does bring me to realize though, that I have a list of things I need to get going in my life as soon as I can. Graduation is right around the corner, and I am in dire need of a job. Not only do I have a week long vacation to see my other best friend in DC this summer, but I have probation, lawyer, medical, car insurance, gas, and other expenses that I’m going to need to be able to pay. My parents, and family in general, aren’t in the financial position to be able to help me out a whole lot with money. I do know that I have one more SS check coming in ($490), money from passing my AP exams (approx. $385.50 assuming I pass all 3), along with whatever graduation money I may recieve. Which, roughly $900 bucks is a nice sum to get my started, but only if I get a job soon. Depending on how things go, I’ll either be moving into my grandma’s, rent free, or going to room with my friend once he’s out of Acadia. I’m leaning towards living with him, but in large because I know he’s going to need strong support to keep on the right path. Next time I talk to him, I plan to see if he’d consider rooming at my grandma’s as well. Supporting him is worth the $160 or so that it’ll be to live with him.

All in all, I really need to get a move on with my life. It gets scary when I start to think on it too much, but it’s something I have to do. I don’t do well with stress. Hopefully there will not be any more bumps in the road. I really don’t know how well I could handle anymore on my plate. I guess it is a good thing that I have to give up booze and pot. Not only for probation, but so I can support my friend. I really don’t want to give up smoking, but I love my Starshine more than anything. And I will not let myself indulge in the temptation that he’s striving so bitterly to leave behind.

This next week I have a few goals I need to accomplish, as best I can:

  • find a job
  • organize myself financial, and get a better grip of what’s in store for me in the next coming months
  • continue to prepare to move out of my house
  • STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS
  • Keep in touch with my Starshine, and see if his plans become anymore concrete.